The Fat Cat Times

Breaking — Markets

Suited Cat Corners the Entire Crypto Market, Refuses to Comment

Analysts baffled as one exceptionally round feline accumulates the floating supply of $FATCAT, lights a cigar, and orders another round.

In an unprecedented move on the trading floor, a well-dressed and notably plump cat has become the single largest holder of $FATCAT, the meme coin sweeping the exchanges. Sources say he arrived by limousine, said nothing, and simply pointed at the buy button.

"He does not sell. He does not blink. He only gets fatter," reported one exhausted broker who wished to remain anonymous. The community has since declared him the mascot, the chairman, and the vibe.